


Bittersweet Longing

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Canon Compliant, John Loves Sherlock, M/M, Pining John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-04 23:23:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt: "John wonders if Sherlock really pulled Janine while on his sex holiday."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bittersweet Longing

Her hair tickles John's nose. Soft, silky, blonde. Everything that he is not not. He, of course, being Sherlock. John shakes his head to himself. Don't think about him now.

The room: only occupied by a bed and a bedside table. A door opens to the beach outside. The sun is shining. Everything inside here is white. White bed, white sheets, white walls, white pain. Well.

She is lying next to him, her naked back facing the ceiling, her head facing the other direction. Why? Is she mad? Because he refused sex just before? No, she has done that too. Because his thoughts are absent? Maybe. Because he checked the computer and spent an hour talking to Sherlock in the comments of his new blogpost (the one Sherlock wrote about the "sex holiday.")? Probably.

(It was the best hour of the entire week)

She turns towards him. A sigh escapes her lips. She settles by his side, and he opens his arms in reflex to invite her in. He's lucky. He should feel lucky. Mary understands him, she lets him have his time with Sherlock. (Sherlock understands him more. Understands the parts of him he doesn't understand himself) She's beautiful. (So is he)

"Are you okay?" she asks. Her voice is croaky. She's been having a nap then. Not mad.

"Mmh." An ambiguous reply. He's been getting good at that. He doesn't like to lie.

She kisses him then. He lets her. He returns it, too. Her lips are soft and submissive to his. Everything his wouldn't be. Sherlock.

How would his be? Is he kissing that woman from the reception right now? Janine. Is her naked front pressed to his side?

No! The thought makes John sick. Jealous. Sherlock should be his. Sherlock should lose his virginity to him. (Maybe, as long as he has Mary, that isn't fair.) (He hates her, he hates her, he hates her. He doesn't bother clarifying who.)

Don't think about it. 

(But he can't stop thinking.)

Does Sherlock like it. Is she sitting on top of him, with her legs snaking around his hips? Is she loud? (Is he loud?) Does Sherlock think of John? Does he miss him? Is she taking that pain away from him? John's replacement. (If she is, what does that mean about their relationship?)

Maybe Sherlock's wearing an even more blissful version of his post-case euphoric expression. (Would Sherlock do that with him? Would he beg him to go on, whispering his name?)  
Or does he only like hips that are curvy? Does he like hips that are narrow, too? (Would Sherlock even like his?)

Or was the whole thing just to make John jealous? Does she know? Janine. (Does he know?) What is John to to do if Sherlock does? (Pretend he's wrong and avoid him so he can't deduce him. Tell him the truth but order him not to tell Mary. Kiss him and take him to the same bed Janine took him to?)

Jealously tastes vile. Can Mary taste it on him; smell it on his breath?

"You're not really into this, are you?" Mary. Maybe she can. She has stopped kissing him. Her voice: light. Affectionate, joking. Still not mad, then. (How long can it last?)

"Sorry. I'm kind of hungry," he lies.

"Should we get dinner?"

("Dinner?" "Starving.")

"Sure."

John gets up. Tries to leave the thoughts of Sherlock behind: restricted to the bed area only. That he can handle. (But it's more than just a bed-area crush)

He doesn't succeed.


End file.
